In the previous bulletins, we have learnt about the Goodness and Mercy of our Heavenly Father. We have understood that He delights and longs to give His best gifts to us especially when we align with Him by asking and expecting to receive. The importance of His mercy, rather than our qualifications, strength and efforts, in accessing His promises has also been highlighted. Today, we'll turn our focus to a foundational proceed of God's goodness and mercy which is relevant for our journey: forgiveness.
Ever since the entry of sin into the world and the disconnection of humans from God and our fellow humans, there has always been a need for justice, forgiveness and reconciliation. In the Garden of Eden, God clothed the nakedness of Adam and Eve with the skin of an animal. He foreshadowed that covering and restoration for sin can never be achieved without death and the shedding of blood. In the Old Testament, we find a long list of requirements, practices and sacrifices that had to be done yearly to address and atone for the sins of Israel. Thankfully, at an appointed time in history, the Lamb of God who was slain before the world was founded was manifested to take away the sins of the world.
As the writer of Hebrews puts it: “He [Christ] has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself” (9:26). And “by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified”(10:14). We see that Christ has purchased and secured forgiveness once and for all for us but are we really enjoying and applying this benefit in our lives? Do we even realize why we need this benefit, how we receive this gift, and why we must extend it to others? In 1 John 1:6-10, the beloved apostle helps us to address these questions.
6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth.
7 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth.
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. (1 John 1:6-10, NLT)
In verse 9, we see that God is faithful to keep His promise to forgive us because Jesus fulfilled the requirement for forgiveness by shedding his undefiled blood for us: "For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness (Hebrews 9:22b). He is also just to forgive us because Jesus bore the penalty of our sins as Isaiah 53:4-5 says. But there appears to be a condition, an "if", for us to enjoy what Christ has permanently secured through his sufferings and death.
'if we confess'.
John highlights two key words which are relevant to the subject of confession and forgiveness: light and darkness. In this context, darkness means covering, hiding, concealing or deceiving while light means transparency, disclosure, and truth. We can deduce from this portion of Scripture that when we, believers, do not practice or walk in truth as people who have been called into God's kingdom of light should, two things happen. First, we undermine fellowship with each other. Secondly, we limit the cleansing power of Jesus' blood and I'll explain shortly why.
Confession implies that we acknowledge the sin or wrong, admit that we are at fault, and approach God for forgiveness because we have faith in the provision Christ has made for us. The very moment we do this, we have an inner witness that the matter is settled. Whether or not we feel forgiven or worthy to be forgiven, the fact remains that God has forgiven us and we've received a receipt by faith. If Satan, the accuser of the brethren, comes reminding us of this sin, we can boldly stand on God's word and overcome him by the blood that cleansed us (Revelations 12:11).
But confession should be done both vertically (towards God) and horizontally (towards our neighbours). After all, it is our fellow humans that we often wrong. Our Lord taught us to prioritize reconciliation with people over spiritual routines (Matthew 5:23-24). Without transparency, humility and reverence for God, horizontal confession is something we may try to avoid. Why? Because it may be more convenient for us to save our face and pretend nothing happened. But when we conceal our sins from others, we break the connection we share and put our hearts in a place where we cannot relate harmoniously with them or receive truth from them. Any insight that could come through them to expose some ways of darkness in our lives will be missed. Then these dark areas will continue to persist in our lives though Christ's blood is available to cleanse them. In the end, we hinder ourselves from experiencing the full potential of God's cleansing and forgiveness. So for us to truly experience God's forgiveness, our horizontal connections must be repaired and maintained.
You may be wondering how forgiveness is related to childbirth so I'll share some applications.
The long wait for children introduces certain pressures that sometimes drives a wedge between couples, especially when healthy communication is not practised. The frustration of not getting children when we want it can lead to impatience, suspicions, finger-pointing and blame-shifting, grumbling, use of insensitive words, indiscrete and unreasonable actions, and apathy or withdrawal on the part of one spouse at times. We see such examples in the Bible too. In Genesis 30:1, when "Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” What a demand to make from a fellow human? Was she implying Jacob was the cause when Leah had borne many children for him? This only illustrates the extent we can be driven by the stress of childlessness. While such sins are ultimately against God, they are directly against us our spouse and they undermine the harmony in marriage. It is important that we admit our sins first before God, and then seek the forgiveness of our spouses too.
For some of us, sins we committed before we surrendered to Christ could be a hindrance because we have not received forgiveness and made restitution where needed. A friend shared an experience where he had several abortions with his girlfriend but had promised to marry her when they are more prepared. When he entered the university, he ditched this lady. When he later surrendered his life to Jesus, he realized the gravity of the sins they had committed and the need to make amends. He earnestly asked God's forgiveness for them both and prayed she would forgive him. But further, he sought the opportunity to call and apologize, and even visited her home. It's been a great relief that God has been so gracious to this lady, enabling her to have three children. Though it took some years for his wife to conceive, he was also eventually blessed with children. Don’t trivialize the unkind treatments you've meted out to others: it may be something they hold against you even if such incidents happened years ago. Mind you, when an embittered voice speaks or cries against you, it registers in heaven (see Genesis 4:10, Exodus 3:9).
Without confession and restitution, where possible, we hinder ourselves from experiencing complete peace and healing. This is why Apostle James admonishes us to confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed (5:16 a, NLT). There is a measure of healing that is effected when an offended party releases grudge and prays for the offender. We see this in the case of Abraham and Abimelech when the latter took in Sarah thinking she was Abraham's sister.
"That night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him, “You are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married!”. ... In the dream God responded, “Yes, I know you are innocent. That’s why I kept you from sinning against me, and why I did not let you touch her. Now return [restore] the woman to her husband, and he will pray for you, for he is a prophet. Then you will live. But if you don’t return her to him, you can be sure that you and all your people will die.” (Genesis 20:3 & 6-7, NLT)
Abimelech restored Sarah to Abraham with a huge package of sheep, cattle, male and female servants and a thousand pieces of silver. It seems that Almighty God couldn't overlook this offence and command healing. He required a human - in this case, the partly guilty Abraham - to stand in the gap and pray. "So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children. For the Lord had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife" (Genesis 20:17-18, NLT). No wonder right after highlighting the need for confession and prayer, James adds that the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results (5:16b). This could be the key to unlocking the blessing of children in your life too.
Admittedly, there are instances where confession is very difficult and the stakes are quite high. Imagine if a lady is aware an abortion in the past has affected her womb and this has been medically confirmed to be the cause of infertility. Would she open up to her spouse about this especially if this was not mentioned prior to marriage. What could be the repercussions? The ensuing mistrust may be the least of her concerns: the marriage itself could be at stake. How should such cases be handled? She can opt to conceal it, carry the weight of guilt (thereby compounding her health problems) and ultimately prevent herself from knowing true peace and harmony in her marriage. However, I believe if she prayerfully seeks counsel and gets the support of matured believers to address this issue with her spouse, she stands a better chance of forgiveness, peace and inner healing - even if it takes a while. And who knows what the prayer contribution of her partner can cause when the great mercies of God are encountered?
Concealing our sins harms us more than it helps us and David testifies to this. “Before I confessed my sins, I kept it all inside; my dishonesty devastated my inner life, causing my life to be filled with frustration, irrepressible anguish, and misery. The pain never let up, for your hand of conviction was heavy on my heart. My strength was sapped, my inner life dried up like a spiritual drought within my soul. Then I finally admitted to you all my sins, refusing to hide them any longer. I said, “My life-giving God, I will openly acknowledge my evil actions.” And you forgave me! All at once the guilt of my sin washed away and all my pain disappeared! This is what I’ve learned through it all: All believers should confess their sins to God; do it every time God has uncovered you in the time of exposing. For if you do this, when sudden storms of life overwhelm, you’ll be kept safe.” (Psalm 32:3-6, TPT)
Let me close this discussion with the other side of the matter - extending forgiveness to others. I am not sure what wrongs you have suffered. You may be the offended spouse who has been dealt a bad hand. Maybe you are bearing the brunt of your partner's errors or mistakes in the past. Inasmuch as you may be justified to condemn your partner and even walk away, you should remember that the Lord has forgiven you much too. Human as you are, it may be painful and difficult to let go of the hurts. But Paul entreats us as recipients of divine mercy in Ephesians 4:32 to: "be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ask the Lord to give you a fresh revelation of His love and enable you to extend the gift of forgiveness that you have also received.
Scripture Reading:
Psalm 32:1-6, Matthew 18:15-35, Psalm 139:23-24