God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful - "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.
One of the stunning realities of the Christian life is that in a world where everything is in some state of decay, God’s mercies never grow old. They never run out. They never are ill timed. They never dry up. They never grow weak. They never get weary. They never fail to meet the need. They never disappoint. They never, ever fail, because they really are new every morning.
We all have moments when we feel better entitled for something others have. When others get what we wish for, it takes a certain grace to be steady and keep trusting. "Life is not fair" is the mantra of masses when we are presented with life's contradictions. Sometimes, the person who is resourced to care for a child doesn’t have while another who is not physically or materially ready to care for one gets one only to neglect or abort it. What of the situation where people who have no regard for God have many children seemingly effortlessly while some believers struggle to get one? Some people live promiscuous lives before marriage and end up childless while others live pure before the Lord and find themselves in the same situation. When one tries to reconcile these issues, they just don't add up.
How can a good God give His treasure to both the good and the bad? I like to call this the mystery of God's mercy but most theologians tackle this subject under common grace. Timothy Keller said, “ the doctrine of common grace helps us to acknowledge God's goodness in all of creation and enables us to pursue mission with love in a fallen world. This gift of God's grace to humanity in general demonstrates a desire on God's part to bestow certain blessings on all human beings, believer and non-believer alike.”
The contradictions of life caught the attention of the wise king Solomon too. He "looked throughout the earth and saw that the swiftest person does not always win the race, nor the strongest man the battle, and that wise men are often poor, and skillful men are not necessarily famous; but it is all by chance, by happening to be at the right place at the right time.” Ecclesiastics 9:11 TLB. Other translations say "time and chance happens to them all. Logically, the fastest runner should win, the strongest person should win the battle and the wise man should never be poor but this is not always the case. By extension, one would think that the legally married or those who kept themselves pure till marriage or those who have the resources to provide good care should always have children. However that is not always the case: the legally married, the pure and holy, the well-to-do are sometimes childless.
In Apostle Paul's letter to the Romans lies a profound statement that I have found useful in my attempt to appreciate these puzzling situations. "So then [God’s gift] is not a question of human will and human effort, but of God’s mercy. [It depends not on one’s own willingness nor on his strenuous exertion as in running a race, but on God’s having mercy on him.]” (9:6 AMPC). The secret to receiving God's gifts is in God Himself, not on our qualifications, efforts, religion or marital status. It is all about God’s mercy. Paul, the Christian persecutor turned apostle, himself had tasted this attribute of God.
We know that God is good but He is also just. For that reason, we see in Scripture that he is faithful and just to forgive us (John 1:9). However, we see some natural consequences that forgiveness may not reverse. For instance, God will forgive fornication but if pregnancy results from this act, confession of sin won't terminate the pregnancy. He is able however to steer events in a way that this pregnancy ends up or leads into a good outcome eventually. This attribute of God that makes Him withhold the judgement or punishment a person deserves or reengineer the negative ultimately into good is what we call mercy. Throughout the Bible, we see God’s goodness accompanied by and closely connected to His mercies.
Scattered throughout scripture are demonstrations of God's mercy that beat the human understanding or standard of justice. Take David's account for instance. When David slept with Bathsheba, and killed her husband, Uriah, because he wouldn't comply his cover-up plans, God forgave him but the baby died. Yet, the same woman Bathsheba was given another child whom the Lord called his beloved (Jedidiah) and chose as David's successor. Why would God give this chosen child to "Uriah's wife" instead of a virtuous wife like Abigail. Indeed, God’s mercy though amazingly beautiful is very confounding.
For some people, considering their past deeds, they may feel worthy or deserving of having a child? Perhaps they have had several abortions, or 'used' and dumped several women, broken other people's marital bonds to enter their current marriage, maltreated children, or committed some kind of evil. They may constantly battle with the question whether they deserve a child. Over time, people recognize their wrongs and seek God's forgiveness - which He faithfully offers - but does he take the consequences away? For instance, if an abortion or STD has tampered with the integrity of the reproductive system, God's forgiveness doesn’t automatically change the condition. Obviously God cannot take the blame for this situation however, His mercy can withhold this deserved consequence and give us a second chance. Like we saw in David and Bathsheba's, God is able to recreate goodness out of our mess. This is where nothing but His mercy gives us multiple chances and different outcomes.
I am well acquainted with a man who was in a relationship with a lady that he promised to marry before he got born again. He had fornicated and committed several abortions with this lady but he opted to marry a different person. For almost four years of marriage they could not conceive but after some prayer interventions, they currently have two children. You are probably wondering like me whether such a person deserves to have a child? After all these multiple abortions? Does he even deserve marriage after shedding innocent blood and dishonouring God through fornication? Should things even go well for him in life? If you were in a position to judge, what do you think such a person deserves?
As you reflect on these questions, think about your own situation. Probably, you have lived the purest of lives yet you also don’t have a child. Did Sarah do anything wrong? No, she was a pure woman yet her womb was shut for so long. How about Hannah and Elisabeth? Living a pure life does not entitle us to have children. Our purity, as children of God, is not a bargaining chip for receiving anything from the Lord. If you have this mindset, allow this truth to renew your mind else your desire to receive God's gift on your own terms will fail and frustrate you. We receive on the condition of God's mercy.
There are couples who opted for abortion because they felt unprepared and inconvenienced to have a child at an earlier stage. It could have been lack of time, material resources, communal support or obstructions to other opportunities. However, now that they feel better prepared, they are unable to conceive. The sad thing is that they may not be able to open up on this because they feel they are the cause of their own predicament. Assuming this was the only child God wanted to give such a couple, would they ever deserve another after discarding His first gift. Of course, God forgives this sin but only His mercy can annul His judgment. If this is your situation, may you encounter God's mercy!
By now, I believe a clear picture has been painted. That everyone - pure or sinful, believer or unbeliever, young or old - needs one thing: the mercy of God. It is the sole condition to receive God's gift of children. In Luke 1:57-58, the NIV says, “when it was time for Elizabeth to have her baby, she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy , and they shared her joy.” Elisabeth, her neighbors could tell that God has shown her not just mercy but great mercy. People could tell that she had got something that she actually didn’t deserve - not at her age. It wasn't just mercy but 'great mercy'. Beloved, may this be your portion. Encounter the great mercies of God.
When God's mercy locates a person his life becomes a puzzle to the watching world. In a world where we strive to achieve by our efforts, pedigrees, qualifications, connections, God's mercy and grace disrupt the order and sets a standard that upsets the strong, the swift and the wise. Remember, the elder brother in the Parable of the prodigal son. He was undone by the Father's mercies and grace. Max Lucado put it this way: “the difference between mercy and grace? Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance. Grace gave him a feast.” May you also experience God's mercy and grace in this season.
Compared to Saul, David did some very terrible things. Saul acted impulsively, got jealous of David and attempted to kill him, and consulted other gods apart from Yahweh. But David committed adultery, attempted to deceive, actually killed his loyal soldier, smartly married Bathsheba for cover-up, and blatantly went about his usual routines in the palace and temple for several months. Why wasn't David dethroned and killed as every murderer should per the Law of Moses? He was a man who sought, relied on and enjoyed the mercies of God (Psalm 40:11, Psalm 89: 22-24, 28, Psalm 51, 2 Samuel 24:14). This is the mystery of mercy: God gives us something that our past wrongs cannot undo. May this be your testimony!
As I close this discussion, let's turn to one final illustration of God's mercy. You are probably conversant with the story of Jacob and Esau and how the "firstborn" blessing landed on the younger twin. But I want to highlight an aspect of their story that is often missed. Before Isaac would pronounce the blessing to his favourite, Esau, (against the prophecy declared before their brith), he made a request: "Take your weapons, your [arrows in a] quiver and your bow, and go out into the open country and hunt game for me" (Genesis 27:3). Esau was going to use his strength and weapons to access a blessing that God had freely given. He was going to hunt for the very animals that God owns and controls (see Psalm 50:9-12). But his strength and weapons failed and Jacob got the blessing. Why?
Now, this son was our ancestor, Isaac, who, with his wife, Rebekah, conceived twins.
11–12 And before her twin sons were born, God spoke to Rebekah and said: “The oldest will serve the youngest.” God spoke these words before the sons had done anything good or bad, which proves that God calls people not on the basis of their good or bad works, but according to his divine purpose.
13 For in the words of Scripture: “Jacob I have chosen, but Esau I have rejected.”
14 So, what does all this mean? Are we saying that God is unfair? Of course not!
On one hand, we strive to get blessings that God alone can freely give. On the other, we consider ourselves disqualified from God's blessings because of our sins and mistakes. But there is a better way to inherit God's promises. As Psalm 44:3 says: "Their strength and weapons were not what won the land and gave them victory! You loved them and fought with your powerful arm and your shining glory. ( CEV)
Earnestly desire and experience God's kindness, favour and great mercy!
Scripture Reading:
Psalm 44:1-8, Romans 9:6-26, Luke 1:57-58, Hebrews 4:16