One of the greatest endowments God has given mankind is hope. Without it, the will to press for the possibilities of the future is almost non-existent. As Apostle Paul wrote, hope, together with faith and love, is an abiding and vital virtue on this side of eternity. It is a weapon against the disparaging arrows of the enemy and an anchor that steadies a believer in the stormy waters of life. But when our desires and dreams seem to drag on forever, we become sick at heart and despair of life.
We set out in life with timelines for the various goals we set based on the norms. However, every now and then, we face situations that remind us that we are each running a unique race and we may need relatively more time, efforts and intervention to attain what others seem to get so easily. Faced with such experiences, it can be challenging to keep our hopes alive when our dreams drag on and wait lengthens from days to months to years.
In some parts of the world, the decision whether or not to have children is regarded as a couple's prerogative so it cuts out a lot of external pressure. In recent years, it is even becoming fashionable for couples to opt not to have children and their societies respect this decision. However, in societies like Africa where childbirth is not a couple's reserved right but the extended families' interest, the stakes are much higher. As years pass by, pressure mounts and a couple may be stressed to the point where their marital bond deteriorates. Without people who can listen, empathize and impart courage into such individual's despairing hearts, their hopes are dashed and they resign to 'their fate".
Words cannot explain how couples feel when conception and childbirth delays in such circumstances. The unsolicited advice and ill-timed help of well-meaning loved ones and observers add salt to injury. It can even be a more torturous ordeal when people who should understand their pain point fingers or provoke them with insensitive comments and actions. Like Rachel and Hannah who suffered such treatment under Leah and Peninnah respectively, we can be pushed further down into misery, frustration and depression. In such situations, it takes divine encouragement and grace to dare to hope or keep our joy. This is especially the case when an individual or couple has done everything within their power to make childbirth a reality.
The Bible is not silent on this issue and we have several accounts of couples who had to deal with the disappointment of not having a child. They were God-fearing people in the covenant nation of Yahweh yet it seemed their promise would never come to pass. For the people of Israel, the writings of Moses had stated explicitly that fruitfulness was their covenant blessing for obedience [Deuteronomy 28:4&11] and none shall be barren in their land [Exodus 23:26]. Children were a blessing of the Lord and the fruit of the womb his reward [Psalm 127:3]. Thus, the absence of children in a home had far too many implications.
Particularly, in the Jewish agrarian society where children were assets for furthering a family's business and the only security for women in their old age, this situation was a reproach - even worse a curse. How did such individuals get on and navigate their predicament? As we review the accounts of couples who shared these struggles, I pray that you draw strength to cast off the weight of guilt and shame that often besets believers in this situation - often due to the notion that they haven't been good enough, or served God enough, or been strong enough in their faith. I pray their stories remind you that God not only understands your situation but He cares deeply enough to turn things around.
Let's begin with Elisabeth and Zacharias. Zacharias was no mean person: he was from the tribe of Levi and a priest of God. His wife, Elizabeth, was also a daughter of Aaron so even within Israel, they were not commoners. From Luke's account, we see that Zacharias served God faithfully, attending to his temple duties when his division's turn came. But Luke 1:6-7 highlights a contradiction in their lives: "they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless . But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well advanced in years." (NKJV). By sacred lot, God chose Zacharias to enter the Holy place to burn incense but in spite of this divine approval, they were barren. They had explored their options and sought divine intervention - they had prayed (verse 13). Yet, decades passed without any answer and in the natural their time had passed.
Then suddenly, in an era where supernatural visitations had ceased for four centuries, an angel appeared to this priest in the Holy place proclaiming that his prayer is heard and his wife will conceive. Luke 1:18 says, "Zacharias said to the angel, “How can I be sure this will happen? I’m an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.” From his response, we can deduce the angel was not referring to a recent prayer request - childbirth was certainly not Zacharias' prayer topic when he stood at the altar of incense on behalf of the entire nation. Furthermore, the statement, "How can I be sure" is used when a person has been previously disappointed and thus requires confirmation to believe a proposition. In the years when he had strength and believed nothing happened so they had probably stopped praying. Was it now that they had both advanced in years that this promise would happen?
Zacharias means 'God remembers'
yet this priest had reached a point where he could not believe that God will remember him. After several years of disappointments, his heart had grown tired and sick so this matter had been closed. He was going through his priestly routines like someone who believed but it seems he was now operating from a place of duty. A super impressive being who stands in the very presence of God was delivering this good news yet he could not believe. Have you entered that space where God's promises and good news sound like cliché to you? Maybe like Zacharias you believed at a certain point. But as the promise has dragged on, your hope has waned with time. As you read these words, may there be a quickening and an impartation of grace to believe again.
Sometimes it is as if God makes us run out of all human options so that we can just trust Him to do what He alone can. That was the case of Abraham and Sarah. The Message Bible renders Genesis 18:11-15 so well: “Abraham and Sarah were old by this time, very old. Sarah was far past the age for having babies. Sarah laughed within herself, “An old woman like me? Get pregnant? With this old man of a husband?” God said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh saying, ‘Me? Have a baby? An old woman like me?’ Is anything too hard for God? I’ll be back about this time next year and Sarah will have a baby.” Sarah lied. She said, “I didn’t laugh,” because she was afraid. But he said, “Yes you did; you laughed.”
God Almighty Himself wearing a human appearance was telling this couple face to face - not through a dream, vision, prophet or angel - and Sarah laughed. But maybe if you see the situation from their perspective you would appreciate why they each laughed in disbelief at God's promise. Sarah in particular had endured a lot of reproach and emotional torture. By this point, her heart was sick and dead as far as the promise of childbirth was concerned.
First, Abraham had female servants and many male servants (far more than the 318 trained ones mentioned in Genesis 14) whose wives were giving birth day in, day out. She might have witnessed or partaken in their deliveries and yet she had no child herself. Moreover, thirteen years before this visitation, Hagar had delivered a son for her husband so the town knew she was the barren one. Then, shortly before this encounter, God has asked them to change their names - from Sarai to Sarah (mother of nations) and Abram to Abraham (father of many) - see Genesis 17. Imagine the sense of ridicule she might have felt every time she was called Sarah knowing very well that she was barren. To make matters worse, Abraham prays for the household of Abimelech to be forgiven and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children while she Sarah still had none (Genesis 20:17).
Thankfully, the story did not end there. In Genesis 21, "the Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had spoken. For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him (verses 1 & 2). Halleluyah! Beloved in the Lord, I have a firm conviction that the Lord will visit you too and fulfill His promise at His appointed time. Don't lose heart. Don't despair. Today you may share Abraham's sentiment in Genesis 15:2 because you have not received this gift or reward of God. But be encouraged that this is not your closing chapter. Soon and very soon, your chapter 21 shall come and you shall celebrate God's goodness.
Divine timing is so crucial in this matter because God has an agenda in the earth and all the intricate details must fit together. For Elizabeth and Zacharias, their child had to be a forerunner for our Lord Jesus: John the Baptist had to prepare the way for our Saviour. Galatians 4:4 says that Jesus was born "at just the right time". This implies that John had to be born at a specific time too hence the delay. For these couples, it was not just a matter of having sex in the fertile window. They had to be in sync with God's timings as well. This is why it is so crucial we understand God's will and assignment for our marriages. Lest, we wallow in discouragement as we compare ourselves with others.
Maybe as you read this article, you have had your share of laughters (or polite smiles of) disbelief at the sound of God's promise. But I write to announce to you that IT IS TIME for you to truly laugh because your Isaac is on the way. To prepare for the manifestation, you need to ramp up your hopes and dream again. In spite of the delay and disappointments that Abraham and Sarah had been through, they believed God's word. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, “That’s how many descendants you will have! (Romans 4:18, NLT).
G. K. Chesterton said: “Hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all… As long as matters are really hopeful, hope is mere flattery or platitude; it is only when everything is hopeless that hope begins to be a strength.” God has the ability to restore you no matter your age. As TPT puts Psalm 103:5, God will satisfy your every desire with good things. He will supercharge your life so that you can soar again like a flying eagle in the sky! The Lord is giving you a new song so that you can DREAM AGAIN.
Here are some practical steps to help you dream again. First, find a reason to be thankful in every situation. Process your experiences with God, dialogue with Him and let him heal your pain (hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration). Revive your hope by recalling the God's goodness - recount the testimonies from your own life and other people's in Scripture and recent events. Surround yourself with the prophetic voices - stay in touch with people who believe and continually speak God's promises over your life. Be mindful of your words in this season - align your declarations with God's promises. Reset your expectations by envisioning yourself receiving God's promise. Finally, be expectant and open to divine interruptions and visitations.
Scripture Reading:
Genesis 21:1-7, Luke 1:1-66