There is power in prayer, there is power in agreement. When we connect with others and with God, miracles happen.
We differ - in our mindsets, colour, gender, race, expectations, experiences, motives, backgrounds, exposures etc. The list is endless yet we agree to walk together with someone who is unique and different in many ways. Our togetherness and agreement starts the first day we decide to get married. For many of us, our agreement was tested during the marriage preparations. You were only able to make progress because you chose to put your differences aside and forge a common vision. That was the only way you could commence your journey as husband and wife. How then do you neglect the power of agreement and expect to work together to get great results in marriage?
In many parts of the world today, people marry and go into agreement that they are not going to have a child. They may have their reasons but this becomes a major condition for their union. Is that God’s will for them? Probably not but they can override God’s will in this matter with their decision. Even Jesus had to submit his will to the Father so that whatever heaven had planned for a season will be agreed upon and allowed to come to pass. In other words, Jesus had to be in agreement with the Father's plan to enforce it on earth. Are you agreeing with your spouse on this marital journey? Are you in agreement with God, the giver of every good gift, in your individual and shared visions?
That is a crucial starting point for many issues in marriage. Often, a couple may have different concern, interest or priorities on a matter leading to divided inputs or approach, leading ultimately to little or no result. Granted, women and men are wired differently and that alone introduces variations in our views - what means something to one may mean nothing to the other. But if these differences in our minds and hearts are left unchecked, we may be living under the same roof and sharing the same bed and yet be operating on different tangents.
Once, I had a dream about a friend in another country. She was so upset at herself and crying while her husband sat in another corner looking unconcerned. The cause of her brokenness was the menstrual blood she had seen in the bathroom but the husband just watched her. When I called to discuss the dream I highlighted that though she wants to have a child her husband is not in agreement with her. In her specific case, no matter how she prays, a major hindrance would be the very person sleeping next to her. It is possible this man was sleeping with the wife thinking they are going to have a child though in his mind he was not willing.
I could tell this friend didn’t believe me partly because they were having sex so I encouraged her to ask her husband. To her surprise, the husband said he was not yet ready. They eventually came into agreement and today they have their first child. Imagine the stress this lady would have gone through, going from one prayer meeting to another, till thoughts are implanted there is something wrong with her. Guess who would take the blame. God. It's interesting that the Bible recounts the story of a man, Onan, who was willing to have sex with his late brother's wife but denied the woman his seed. Why? Because any child they conceived will not be his per their custom and God killed him for that (Genesis 38:8-10). Are you spilling your seeds in your mind? What are you afraid of? In what way could you be contributing to your situation?
God wants to give you this gift of children more than you want it but it takes agreement on your part, with your spouse and with God. Being in agreement with God means that we are open to his timing, purpose and plan for the season. Many miss their timings because they are not in agreement with heaven. They want to do things at their own time and convenience and then that window passes. What if Mary had said she was not ready. Would the opportunity have been passed to someone more willing?
If we are disjointed in our thoughts, convictions and goals, it will be evident in our prayers and actions. You cannot yoke a pig and a horse together to plough a field. Why? They will simply not agree: they will certainly pull in different directions and the net effect will be no result. Imagine a couple trying to have a child when a partner is secretly on a contraception pill, or having reservations, or withholding relevant information or convictions on the subject from the other partner? Or what if they are not in sync with the natural order? Since there is a time for a woman to ovulate, there is a time that sex must happen if we want a child. If we seek conception outside this window we know that it will normally not happen.
Sometimes fail to understand that God does not only see our actions but also knows our thoughts, emotions, fears. Often, the silent prayers said in the mind are discounted but as Ephesians 3:20 says:
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think , according to the power that works in us ... (NKJV)
God is able to do but could it be that we are countering what we are asking for with what we are thinking. We can pray for something while our thoughts and actions suggest otherwise. For instance, as we are praying together, you can join but if you don’t open up to believe God in this season, it will all go down the drain because we are not in agreement on our pursuit. Could it be that you are asking God for something that you are undermining in your thoughts - maybe due to fear or concerns about financial provision, health risks, career progression, timing, age?
Make time to sit as a couple and ask each other if there is something you feel the other is doing wrong, and be willing to listen and come into agreement. Bear in mind that you don't always have to be the one who is right in every matter. A team works on the fabric of forgiveness and common interest. There is a vision in this season for childbirth: you cannot be sleeping in another room or on another bed and believe we are pursuing a common vision. Agreement brings direction on what to commit your resources, energy and time to. Out of the many women or men in the world, you chose this one. You agreed to come together not only under one roof but in spirit, soul and body. Let God help you to agree on all these levels.
Scripture is replete with accounts illustrating that couples have to agree with God and each other for the manifestation of their promise. Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 18:1-15); Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 25:20-21); Manoah and his wife (Judges 13:1-14); Zacharias and Elizabeth - remember, Zacharias' speech was cut because he initially wasn't in partnership with the Lord (Luke 1:1-25), Mary and Joseph (Luke 1:26-38, Matthew 1:18-21).
Let's take a closer look at Abraham and Sarah's case. Obviously, they had both passed childbearing age so it wasn't surprising Sarah laughed when the angel declared they will have a child in a year. In Genesis 18:12 GNT, “... Sarah laughed to herself and said, “Now that I am old and worn out, can I still enjoy sex? And besides, my husband is old too.” Not only did she think it impossible, she didn't have sexual pleasure. From her statement, she knew there was a time window that it could have happened - not when her body was weak, breasts flat, and Abraham probably as good as dead.
God did not excuse Abraham and Sarah because they considered themselves old. For God's word to be fulfilled, they had to agree with the word and enjoy matrimonial sex, even if they did not feel like it. Like Sarah, you may know too well about your condition but there are things you have to reorient your mind about and intentionally align yourself with to receive God's promise. Stop behaving as if you are enduring sex. God specially designed the ovulation period and fertility window so be intentional and seize that moment. We can pray, anoint you with oil, and impart all kinds of knowledge in your mind. But practically, you have to agree with your partner and enjoy the gift of sex not only when you feel like it.
Over and again, we see visions in jeopardy because of differences in mindsets, timing or approach. Nothing meaningful and lasting can be achieved where there is no agreement on all levels. To build our marriages, businesses or families we have to agree. It does not take one person to build a marriage, it takes two. Unity is vital in accelerating and making your goal of getting God’s gift of children a reality. One may think that praying about childbirth as a couple means there's agreement but that is not always true. When your hearts and minds are not in sync or right with each other, harmony is not yet perfected. What is your view about childbirth? When should you have a child? A boy or a girl? Even unresolved differences in your opinions on Christian practices and principles like giving or fellowship create conflicts. Discussing and reaching agreements will foster harmony and open doors to blessings in your marriage.
In John 5:19-20, Jesus said: “I speak to you eternal truth. The Son is unable to do anything from himself or through his own initiative. I only do the works that I see the Father doing, for the Son does the same works as his Father” [TPT]. Even the execution of the Godhead agenda is based on mutual agreement. To God, harmony is so crucial that the anointing oil only flow from the head to the rest of the body to release blessings where there is harmony (Psalm 133:1-3). We can't play by different rules. Childbirth should not be only one spouse’s project because it is for both partners (Genesis 25:20-21).
Sometimes, the issue is not that we are not praying enough; maybe we are not in agreement with what God wants to do. When Mary said be it unto me according to your word, she was open to God’s interruption. Her wedding plans would be ruined and her life was on the line because for a betrothed girl to be pregnant for another man was tantamount to death. How was she going to tell Joseph her husband? But the moment she agreed with the Lord, it was no longer her problem. God spoke to Joseph so that part their harmony would not be disrupted. Can God count on you to partner with Him?
Though Elkanah lovingly consoled Hannah that he was better to her than ten sons, she pressed on to believe God for a child. I believe the changed countenance she left Shiloh with brought her husband into alignment for God's promise at just the right time (1 Samuel 1:1-20). In this season, may you also have an encounter that transforms your countenance and outlook and positions you both for your promise.
Agreement makes even the prayers of a couple effectual because they know what they both want and are united in spirit and in body. Matthew 18:19 says, “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.” NKJV. This sounds too good to be true. Did God mean anything? Does that include children? Your guess is as good as mine. So why is something this simple very difficult to practice? I believe it's because we humans has a selfish tendency to be independent even in marriage.
Thank God He's reuniting our hearts in this season so that we can have the focus that agreement creates. This is why we set out on this 21-day fast focusing solely on childbirth. Agreement and focus will produce the power to release breakthrough as we enforce this verse in our covenant relationship of marriage. Let sincere dialogue pave way for forgiveness, healing and alignment in the spirit of love. For surely, then, we can bind any issue whatsoever and release God's promise of childbirth as we ask in agreement in Jesus' name. Amen!
Scripture Reading:
Genesis 11:1-9 and Matthew 18:15-35