Why do you do the things that you do? Is your heart in agreement with your mind? We have a tendency as humans to act in ways that are quite different from the intents of our hearts. While we may succeed in keeping up appearances before our fellow humans, we stand no chance to outwit the God before whom all things are bare. The self-seeking interests, greed, jealousy and hypocrisy are all naked before the One who searches the thoughts and intents at the core of our being.
What is driving your desire to have a child? Is childbirth the validation or proof you seek for your marriage? Is it a means to obtain the approval of your in-laws? Is your longing borne from the fear that your marriage may not last without a child? Is it a means to quiet the provocations of mean critics and stop the stares of inquisitive neighbours? Do you want a child as a consolation and comfort when things are sour between you and your spouse? Are children the security you want to have for the future? If we want to receive God’s best for us, we have to examine our motives.
In Genesis 29:31-32, we find one the likely reasons for the delay in Rachel's conception. “And when the Lord saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren. And Leah became pregnant and bore a son and named him Reuben [See, a son!]; for she said, Because the Lord has seen my humiliation and affliction; now my husband will love me” AMPC. Leah wasn't as beautiful as Rachel and had been deceitfully given to Jacob as wife so she was already marked for ill-treatment in her home. As God saw the selfish motives and discriminating attitudes of Jacob and Rachel, He prevented them from getting a gift that would be used to worsen the plight of Leah. Sometimes, the hindrance to our blessings stems from our intentions and motives.
Though Rachel yearned to have a child, her motive was to secure her place as the favourite wife. For her, children were an advantage for securing victory in her competition with her sister. As we saw in a previous article, the names she gave the children Bilhah, her servant, bore for Jacob revealed her motives. Naphtali meant “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won" Genesis 30:8 NIV. Instead of seeking and focusing on God's plans for her life, she was comparing herself with her sister and pulling her husband into their battle. Whereas Isaac sought the Lord for Rebekah to bear children, Jacob was caught in the petty games of these two rivals. While they played their games, God watched on. He waited for Rachel to exhaust her options and realize the futility of her pursuit before intervening. When our hearts are not right, we frustrate and delay God's plans for our lives.
What is motivating your pursuit and approach in life? Is it love for God and a concern for the honour of His name? Are you longing for children in fulfillment of His word to God's glory? This is what made the difference in Hannah's situation. For years, she had endured the taunts of her rival, Peninnah, and allowed her meanness to sap her joy. But one year, when the focus shifted from her to God's interests, the story changed.
“ And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.” Her motive changed from Peninnah to Kingdom agenda. Her request for a child this time was not to please her beloved husband or get even with her rival. Her aim was to give this child back to the Lord.
At that point in Israel's history, the sons of the priest, Eli, were corrupt and irreverent. There was going to be a gap in the nation's leadership if these men spearheaded the affairs of the Temple. God needed a prophet who would speak His mind and give insight to the people of Israel. Then, he found a woman who wanted to devote her child as a Nazarite to the Lord. For us readers in the 21st century, we may not understand the import of Hannah’s vow. Giving back a child she had not even yet conceived meant she was giving up her source of consolation, the societal respect and the physical help that a child could give in her manual labour. Moreover, since the inheritance of Elkanah would go to his children, she would have no property to live on in her old age. Yet, Hannah was willing to give up this child who would be her only source of support, social security and pension when she's widowed.
One would think that Hannah had vowed in desperation, like we sometimes do, and would rescind her decision later. Perhaps, she was acting like the little boy who promised to give God nine out of the ten cents he'd lost and whispered to his surprised friend that He was only tricking Him to answer speedily. Well, as the account unfolds in 1 Samuel 1, the very moment her son was born she did something that revealed that her vow was really heartfelt. "I asked the Lord for Him" was what he named her little boy. Every time, she would set eyes on him or hear the name, Samuel, she would remember the vow she made. Seeing how fond she could become of her bundle of joy, she guarded her heart from forgetting her promise to the Lord. So, day in and day out, she prepared herself to give back what she had asked from the Lord. She took time to train God's gift and in due time presented Samuel to God.
When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull[i] for the sacrifice and a basket[j] of flour and some wine. After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli. “Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the very woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they[ worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 1:24-28)
What is the posture of your heart before God with regards to your requests? We sometimes feel entitled for God's blessings because of our service and good works. However, the intentions with which we do these may not be in line with God's purposes. As Jesus taught, we may be working for the admiration, approval and praises of men (Matthew 6:1-3). We may even be more interested in the rewards God generously gives than He himself. That is why it's important we examine our hearts. This is where the issues of life spring from as Proverbs 4:23 says. Good and evil, right and wrong, all originate from the heart and we fail to guard it, we risk mounting a barrier between us and God.
As Apostle James wrote we sometimes miss answers to our requests because the disposition of our hearts are not aligned with God's pleasure. “[Or] you do ask [God for them] and yet fail to receive, because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives. Your intention is [when you get what you desire] to spend it in sensual pleasures" (AMPC). Should God examine your motive what will he find? Will your intentions draw or hinder Him from honouring your requests?
After Senior High School, I applied for an engineering program in the university. In the waiting period, I started going to church consistently, praying more often and leading a holy life. I reasoned that my devotion will cause God to give me the desires of my heart. Months later, the admission list was released and yours truly was not on it. Guess my next line of action. I stopped going to church. God proved what was in my heart. I was only buying my way to the university with my faithfulness and service. It wasn't for His sake that I was devoting my life; it was for a blessing I knew He could provide.
David had been relating with God for long and he discovered one thing that could hinder Him from accessing the everlasting way was his heart. He earnestly prayed: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there is in me the worship of false gods, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). This man after God's heart learnt from his youth that God does not judge by appearance or stature like humans do (1 Samuel 16:7). He looks at the heart and weighs the hidden motives of men to reward them accordingly as Jeremiah 17:10 says.
When God takes His rightful place in our hearts and our ultimate goal is to honour Him above all else, He Himself takes the initiative to implant desires that align with His plans in our hearts. When we delight in Him and seek His interests - the honour of His name, the revelation of His goodness and glory - above all else, we position ourselves to experience His best too. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4, NKJV.
Sometimes, we do not get what we desire because our delight and concern is not God's glory and pleasure but our personal glory and pleasure. Today, why don't you ask the Lord to search your heart and expose the interests that are preventing you from truly delighting in Him? Ask Him to use his powerful Word which is as sharp as a surgeon's scalpel to cut deep into your soul and spirit and remove motives that do not glorify Him. Ask Him to align your desire with His plans for His glory on earth. Ask Him to give you a heart like Hannah's so that you may desire and commit to raise godly children for His kingdom's purposes.
Scripture Reading:
Proverbs 16:1-2, Psalm 139:23-24, 1 Samuel 1:24-28